ladies do it better- and here's the proof.

Okay, so I feel like I don't have to tell you that fictional stories (I'm talking about literature, film, television, the works) tend to be told from a male perspective, and when they aren't, when a woman is at the helm, they're trivialized and infantilized. There's a reason why when we look back at some of the most iconic roles (heroes, villains, you name it) they seem to be men. We just don't realize it. But girlfangs is not a criticism blog, so I'm segueing into something good that comes from this trend: genderswaps.

I love genderswaps. Not only are they fun, but they're undeniable proof that biological sex does not a more compelling character make. Just because you're a male does not mean your story gets to be more accessible than mine, and these ladies prove it. Yes, genderswapping works both ways, and female characters can be made male, but for the purposes of girlfangs (and my own personal interest) here, in no particular order, are my top five favorite genderswaps: male to female. 

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1. Kara Thrace, Battlestar Galactica. Now in the original BSG from the 1980s, Lieutenant Starbuck was hot-headed, red-blooded, heavy-drinking, cigar-smoking, sex-having, gambling male. And when BSG was reimagined in the early 2000s, Lieutenant Starbuck was turned into Kara "Starbuck" Thrace, a hot-headed, red-blooded, heavy-drinking, cigar-smoking, sex-having, gambling female. I love Kara Thrace. She's still the star pilot she was in the original series, and she has so much heart and growth over the series. Starbuck (her pilot call sign, by the way) has been described as "one of television's most complex, ever-evolving characters," and this is entirely after her recreation as a female in the reimagined BSG. She's one of the most incredible characters in television, male or female, and even if you aren't into sci-fi, I'd recommend this series for her alone.

   

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2. Joan Watson, Elementary. This is a relatively new character on the scene. Joan Watson is the female (of color, I might add!!!) reimagining of the ubiquitous John Watson, Sherlock Holmes' sidekick- but let's be real, in Elementary, it's definitely Joan that wears the pants in this relationship. Now Elementary got a lot of shit for casting Lucy Liu (who is better than you in every single way, lest you forget) as John Watson, but I'm not gonna talk about the ignorant vomit that spewed from peoples' mouths. Instead, I'm going to tell you about how Joan Watson is a character with all the nuances and sensitivity that, say, Martin Freeman or Jude Law lack in their tired portrayals. I'm gonna tell you about how she's flawed, powerful, empathetic, human, and doesn't take any of Sherlock's shit. She and Jonny Lee Miller (who plays Holmes) have a chemistry that's unique from any adaptation of Sherlock Holmes previous. Elementary takes a boring old story about white dudes that's been told over and over again and switches it up, adding characters of color and trans* characters, and changing white bread John Watson to Joan, a vivacious and fiery character that puts previous incarnations to shame.

   

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3. Leading Player, Pippin. I'm gonna take a step back from television for a second and talk about musical theater. Pippin is the kind of show you have to see to really understand, because when I tell you it's a circus-themed musical about Charlemagne's son, you're gonna look at me like I know you're looking at the computer screen right now. The thing is, that's literally what it's about. Pippin (real historical name Pepin) is portrayed as a teen who's just trying to find his way in life (you know, in the Middle Ages where everything is magically a circus) and the Leading Player is the head of the circus troupe that stages the entire show. The Leading Player is a role traditionally played by a man (indeed, Ben Vereen originated the role back in 1972), but when it was revived earlier this year on Broadway, Patina Miller stepped up the play the role. Now the Leading Player is a character somewhat akin to Che in Evita or the Emcee in Cabaret: a character apart from the actual narrative action, who comments on what's going on and guides the protagonist through the plot. But the Leading Player is different than Che or the Emcee in that there's a distinct villainy to the character, and Patina Miller plays this up perfectly. Her Leading Player is nuanced; she's sexy and enticing, manipulative and frightening, comforting while at the same time maintaining her malicious air. She's got a powerhouse voice and perfect command over the complex choreography of the show. She just won a Tony for this role earlier this year, making her and Ben Vereen the first actors of different sexes to win the award for the same character, but between you and me (and the rest of the internet I suppose), it's Patina Miller's portrayal that will be remembered through the years.
   
   
   
4. M, James Bond. Okay so I'm a really big James Bond fan. I've been watching the movies since I was a kid, and I turn into a huge fucking dork about them. And while James Bond is not a series generally known for it's fairness to women (god, have you ever read Casino Royale? I only got about halfway through it myself- the Cold War era misogyny was too much handle) but one thing it did right was in Goldeneye, when Judi Dench was brought in to replace a traditionally male role. Judi Dench's M is at first cold and calculating, and while this remains an inherent characteristic of hers, she opens up over the course of her seven films (the second-longest running M, and if you count her video game appearances, she actually has the most appearances of any M ever). She redefines the role of M in more ways than just becoming female. She humanizes M, turning her into a complex character rather than her predecessor's (Robert Brown's) flat portrayal. She also totally calls Bond out on his sexism and misogyny, which is pretty badass, if you ask me. She's my favorite M, hands down. (And this is a bit of an aside, but for anyone who's seen Skyfall, I hope that newly cast Miss Moneypenny- Naomie Harris- will succeed her as the next female M, when Ralph Fiennes eventually passes the torch.)
   
5. Fionna and Cake, Adventure Time. Okay, so the famous genderswap episodes of Adventure Time genderswap everyone, so this particular one isn't solely male-to-female genderswaps, but there's no way I could resist putting this on the list. The Fionna and Cake episodes are just as quirky, funny, and highly intelligent as the rest of Adventure Time is, but everyone is the opposite sex. The first episode has Fionna going on a date with Prince Gumball (don't act like I need to tell you who those characters are) and ending with Fionna proudly declaring that she doesn't need a boyfriend because she's happy just as she is. One of my favorite features of this episode is that there isn't a change besides the sex. Fionna is still a sword-wielding adventurer, and I love that. Seriously, it's everything that's great about Adventure Time but with a genderswap! What more could you want? Nothing, I'm sure.

playlist: watch the queen conquer

1. Telephone - Lady Gaga & Beyonce
2. Let Me Blow Your Mind - Eve & Gwen Stefani
3. Lady Marmalade - Lil' Kim, Mya, Pink & Christina Aguilera
4. Give Me All Your Luvin' - Madonna, Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.
5. Woman Up (Dave Scalia Remix) - Charlene Kaye & Kalae Nouveau
6. Q.U.E.E.N - Janelle Monae & Erykah Badu
7. How Ya Doin'? - Little Mix & Missy Elliott
8. Me Against The Music - Britney Spears & Madonna
9. I'm Out - Ciara & Nicki Minaj
10. Walk This Way - Girls Aloud vs Sugababes
11. 1, 2 Step - Ciara & Missy Elliott
12. Raining Men - Rihanna & Nicki Minaj
13. Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves - Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin
14. Monster - Nicki Minaj featuring Kanye West, Jay-Z, Rick Ross & Bon Iver

listen on 8tracks

Wanna know what's awesome? When ladies in the music industry decide to collaborate. It almost always yields better fruit than something that involves a dude. (4 women did "Lady Marmalade" and 3 men did "Blurred Lines" I feel like that is explanation enough.) So here's some jams where ladies are doing it big and doing it together. That last one is a bonus track and (mostly) a joke, since Nicki did indeed collaborate with guys on it, but she stole the show with the greatest verse of the last decade, and it belongs on every playlist anyway.

Welcome to What Vale?

Night Vale, actually, two words. Welcome to Night Vale is the title of a startlingly existential, occasionally touching, and, for lack of a better word, absurd science fiction podcast that's been around for just over a year now. It's only really been gaining popularity in the last few months (I confess, I'm a latecomer myself) but everywhere I go it seems like someone else has decided, with admitted trepidation, to give Night Vale a try.

To summarize: WTNV is a podcast in the form of a radio show hosted by Cecil Baldwin, in a tiny fictional desert town called Night Vale. To put it mildly, weird shit happens, but it's totally the norm. Night Vale starts off in its introductory episode by introducing recurring themes, such as the Dog Park (no dogs allowed, but no humans either. In fact, it's best to pretend it doesn't exist), the Hooded Figures (not really malicious but not really benevolent either? Just pretend they don't exist), the Angels (which definitely don't exist), and of course, Carlos the Scientist, who is sort of the listener's in on the world of Night Vale. Though he's not mentioned in every episode (or even heard at all until episode 16- though other voices rarely feature besides Cecil), Carlos is a scientist who's come to Night Vale to investigate the strange happenings that every Night Vale citizen just takes as commonplace.

Now, with that description, I can imagine you're probably thinking- well, I don't know what you're thinking, because when WTNV was first explained to me, I had no idea how to react. It was really only the word of so many people that I would love it that got me to go ahead and download the free (yes, free) podcasts. With 26 episodes (at the time- as of now there are 30 total) at 20-30 minutes each, the thought of catching up seemed monumental. But luckily I was on a road trip at the time and just listened incessantly. And the more I listened, the more I loved it. Now you're gonna have to do exactly what I did: listen to me tell you how fucking great it is, and then just listen for yourself.

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So why is WTNV so fucking great? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.

1. Like I mentioned above, WTNV has a lot of recurring themes, characters, places, and events. It can be hard to keep up with a TV show sometimes, let alone a podcast that only comes out twice a month. Constantly reappearing characters, news stories that followed, if not week to week, will always be picked up at least a few episodes later. There is a narrative thread, despite the fact that on a first listen, literally everything sounds ridiculous and you can't imagine becoming invested in any of this. I know, I was there too. And while the temporal, character-driven narrative certainly isn't the focus of the show, it's still there, and I've spent entire episodes clutching my chest (both from fear and Grinch-type heart growing). Cecil and Carlos, for example, follow one of the greatest narratives I've seen in a while, but that's another bullet point.

   

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2. OKAY I CAN'T RESIST LET'S TALK ABOUT CECIL AND CARLOS. Cecil is the narrator, and from the very first episode, when Carlos appears, he's totally in love. He talks about his perfect hair, teeth, how gorgeous he is, how smart he is- and instead of being played off as a joke, as bromantic-but-wow-no-homo-seriously, it's treated with respect. Cecil is an honest-to-Glow-Cloud queer character, who just happens to be queer. You don't need me to tell you how rarely that happens. And, now hold on to  your seats folks, because this one is really gonna shock you: Carlos is queer too. One of the most touching (in anything ever, not just WTNV) narrative threads is the development and establishment of their relationship. It's treated so perfectly that I literally do not have a single problem with it, and as a cinema studies major and non-professional media critic, that does not happen often. 
3. Considering the constant whitewashing of characters in literally everything, it's a fucking pleasant surprise to find out that almost 100% of art and fan casts, etc, portray Carlos as a POC! Carlos is a traditionally Latin American name, so it's really good to see that floating around. And Cecil is often drawn as a POC, as are some of the other supporting characters. It just feels so good to have a fandom that take white as default, and that's one of the most beautiful things about WTNV. 

   

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4. WTNV is really PC, for lack of a better term. There's a character who calls himself the Apache Tracker, and every time he's mentioned, without fail, Cecil calls out how racist and appropriative he is. What the fuck? When do you ever come across that in media? WTNV does not stand for your shit. 
5. It's so not mainstream that it can get away with pretty much anything. You never know to expect with WTNV, which is part of the fun. An episode can be hilarious, it can be beyond comprehension, it can be heartbreaking. And somehow it refrains from verging on shocking just to be shocking. Everything has a point, everything is so carefully thought out- it's not sloppy or lazy at all.

The thing about WTNV is that it's kind of inexplicable. Once you've heard it, everything I've just said will make perfect sense, I swear, but until then, you just have to take a chance and leap. The first episode will only take twenty minutes out of your day. So stop reading this post and go listen.

in defense of the genre: a post about pop music

We're going to talk about One Direction.

How did they become my favorite band? We just don't know...

You know them as that boy band from the X Factor, that boy band everyone is obsessed with, that boy band that you're too good for, or if you're my dad, One Dimension.

So why are they so important anyway? They're just a band, right? Yes and no. It is true, despite what their fans will tell you, that they're just pop singers, as opposed to angels sent from heaven to wreak havoc on your sanity. Although they do that. But, in all seriousness, why are they important? Aren't they just makers of conventional pop music?

No. And here's why. The answer is three-fold.

(At this point in the post, I feel it is important for me to tell you that I, Kate, am 21 years old, of sound mind, and I love One Direction. There, that's out of the way.)

1. They aren't just making conventional pop music. Last year, they released their sophomore album Take Me Home, and, defying all bubblegum pop norms, it is almost entirely sex positive. Here's just a sampling of lyrical content:

• "tonight let's get some / and live while we're young"
• "if you don't wanna take it slow and you just wanna take me home / baby say yeah"
• "I want you to rock me"
• "So baby if you say you want me to stay, stay for the night"
• "Would he please you? / Would he kiss you? ... Would he touch you?"
• "And every time we both touch I only want more"
• "Wish that we could be alone now / If we could find some place to hide / Make the last time just like the first time"

Whew...Gotta fan myself after that.

In layman's terms, this band is DTF. But more importantly, this band thinks it's pretty awesome that the elusive 'you' in these songs is too! A girl? Who wants to...you know...do the things? Well, I never! No, no, this is not the Victorian Era; this is the 21st century, where girls, just like guys, want casual, no strings hook ups. One Direction doesn't shame you for that. And, on top of all that, they say that, if you are indeed into that sort of thing, you should say so. I know abs are pretty sexy and all, but asking for enthusiastic verbal consent might actually top a toned bod. Good thing 1D delivers on all fronts.

Ah yes, the age old mantra: the boy band that sings shirtless together, stays together.

2. They are ridiculously interactive with their fanbase. I know, these days, you can't be famous unless you're on 800 social networks and follow every single one of your fans on every single one of them. But "famous" people aren't actually obligated to do that, and they don't owe their fans anything via these networks. And let me tell you, if you're unfamiliar, the fanbase of One Direction sometimes think they're owed something. (That is a post for another day on another blog, but I digress.)

However, the boys of One Direction take it in stride and are so ludicrously appreciative of the people who put them where they are today; they are all too aware that it wasn't really only them five who got them to the top. Sometimes I don't know how to handle the official retirement of the fourth wall when it comes to this fandom, so I can't imagine how they do. But they do. And watching their lives unfold on twitter, instagram, vine, ad infinitum ad nauseam is ridiculously entertaining.

3. They have totally and unabashedly erased the shame that is liking boy bands after age fifteen. I am 21 years old. I can go into a bar, order a whiskey neat, and wax existential with sophisticated and intellectual university students, and (sort of) hold my own. But I can also throw back one too many vodka cranberries, put on "Stole My Heart" and dance with a bunch of other legal lushes who too are in love with One Direction. Because I am not the only old lady who has had her life actually kind of ruined by this clown academy of a boy band. And it's fine to admit it in public–in fact, at a party in my own apartment last year, they came up in conversation and suddenly you had new friends depending on who your favorite member was. (Team Louis 'til I die, bitches.)

Louis Tomlinson does not have time for your irrational and unfounded dislike of pop music

Sure, everyone in my generation still loves Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. But we could chalk that up to nostalgia and our silly youth. Liking One Direction would mean, heaven forbid, post-puberty, we like boys who harmonize, don't play instruments, and put out entire albums of pop earworms. But we do. And it's totally okay. Because there's nothing wrong with liking pop music. Just like there's nothing wrong with liking heavy metal or soft grunge. Or (the horror!) all three.

So don't write the lads of One Direction off. They're doing it big and probably doing it better than you. In fact, perhaps you should ask them what their secret is. Do you have 15 million followers on twitter like Harry Styles has? Didn't think so.

meet dat blogger: k8

My name is Kate, I shorten it to k8.

In a nutshell: The world's first witch-feminist hybrid! Foreign languages include Latin and Sarcasm. Would grab my leather jacket in an apartment fire and bring mascara to a desert island. I run almost exclusively on hazelnut coffee and male tears.

Out of the nutshell: 21 year old university student who could easily have a PhD in watching television but am instead majoring in Classical Civilization and International Relations. I'm considering grad school but also hoping that someone will find this blog and just pay me to exist. (how has this not already happened? it's like there's no justice) Fairly critical of pretty much everything but actually likes quite a bit of stuff. Just recently learned how to do winged eyeliner. I love food, especially breakfast, avocados, popcorn, and pomegranate greek yogurt. I work at my university's registrar office which yields hilarity often. In a very loving relationship with Netflix and every female character ever.

What I'll probably write about: pop culture!!!!!!!!!!, music, food, fashun, and One Direction. no seriously.

(If it was not already apparent, I am Princess Bubblegum in real life.)

meet the blogger: nana

 

sidekick rings, what's up holla-

My name is Mariana, but you can call me Nana (like nuh-nuh- I have learned from experience that even my four letter nickname can be mangled as much as my Latina-as-hell given name can).

I'm twenty-one, I'm queer, I'm a writer, and I've been compared to Lauren Bacall and Michelle Rodriguez. Both of which are worthy, I think.

I'm studying cinema, creative writing, and Latin American studies at NYU, but my friends will tell you I major in eyeliner, media criticism, and subverting the patriarchy. I want to go to grad school for cinema studies. Essentially my life plans are to be a starving artist.

I watch TV like it's nobody's business (I'm in the middle of a Criminal Minds marathon as I type this), I am practiced in the art of matching my nail polish to whatever novel I'm reading at the time, and I live by the mantra: If your eyeliner is on point, your life is on point.

Life goals are to be the next Roger Ebert and to have my opinions matter to everyone. The three fictional characters I identify with above all are Cher Horowitz from Clueless, Grantaire from Les Miserables, and Remus Lupin from Harry Potter.

I'll probably write about pop culture, Sailor Moon, and my faves.